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    WHEN TO SEEK HELP
     
    One bad grade on a school test doesn't mean you need to make an appointment with a family counselor. Remember that not all of your kid's problems are going to be a result of your divorce: one fight at school, an incident of bedwetting, or one bad school grade isn't necessarily linked directly to the divorce. These kinds of things happen to any child in any family situation. So before you start panicking that your child has become psychologically damaged for life, check your local bookstore or library for books explaining the development of children. These resources will help you understand the difference between normal and problematic behaviors.

    Discipline problems are usually what spur parents to seek professional help for their kids. Discipline problems can stem from your child's inability to sort out his/her feelings or to adjust to the divorce -- or it might just mean that your child is lacking good coping skills. A child's bad behavior can result from fear, hostility, or insecurity, and it's a sign that your child needs more positive attention. Children who don't receive positive parental attention try for any kind of attention, even if it's negative: they would rather misbehave and get yelled at than not get any attention at all.

    Some therapists assert that any extreme deviation from a child's normal course of behavior is a sign that he or she has been affected by the divorce. "A parent should look for extremes in any direction: wild behavior in a quiet child, or if a sociable child won't come out of his or her room, for example," says Dr. Robert Galatzer-Levy, a Chicago-based child and adolescent psychiatrist.

    "Changes is a child's social behavior are often the best indicators that something is wrong," says Barbara Anderson, a Toronto therapist and mediator. "For instance, you should be concerned if your child is suddenly acting out violently; regressing to an earlier stage such as bedwetting; having problems playing with friends; developing academic problems; or even experiencing physical problems such as developing stomach or head aches, sleep problems, or eating disorders."


  • 1 - Emotional injuries
  • 2 - How children may cope
  • 3 - Warning signs
  • 4 - When to seek help
  • 5 - Consider getting help if...
  • 6 - Coping varies from child to child





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