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Children clearly need two parents that love and care for them. The majority of parents are able to share custody, but many need extra help in figuring out how to do it without tension. Here's a look at how to best divide your child's time. The on-going puzzle of what to do when two parents claim that a child belongs with them can be perplexing and can create tremendous conflict. In a custody dispute, people often think in black and white. Frequently parents will claim, "I'm clearly the better parent, therefore, our child belongs to me." They can usually present several reasons for their belief. Too often, egos and the desire to control the other parent and the child take precedence over what is in the child's best interest. Thus, the labels of joint and sole custody can be taken too seriously. Children clearly need two parents that love and care for them. The majority of parents are able to share custody. Many need help in figuring out how to do it without tension. However, even when parents simply can't get along, joint custody shouldn't be ruled out. Research has shown over and over that the children in divided families fare better when they have two parents to enrich their lives, especially when both parents are involved in making key decisions on the child's behalf. Extensive research has been done on children raised in single-parent homes. This research has shown that the trend of eliminating a father from a child's life in order to make things easier for the parents is not in the child's best interest. A high percentage of these children end up engaged in anti-social behavior, such as dropping out of school, promiscuous sexual behavior, drug abuse, and criminal activity. Currently, nearly 40% of American children have no father in their lives. This is a disturbing trend. Fathers have proven that they can be just as nurturing and child-oriented as mothers. Fathers provide a balance and contribute an insight that can make a huge difference in how a child turns out. Taking care of a child is a big job. Not being able to work out an acceptable parenting plan when families divide further contributes to this social problem. Sole custody should only be used when one parent is clearly incapable of caring for a child. When a parent lives far away or has a work schedule that prevents him or her from taking on day-to-day parenting responsibilities, it's still possible for him or her to have joint custody -- it's just usually more difficult.
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