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DIVISION OF YOUR CHILD'S TIME |
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A good timeshare plan depends on many
variables. If the time means a long commute out of the child's neighborhood,
making it so that he or she is unable to see friends or to participate
in special activities or sports, then it may be too much. Children need
both consistency and flexibility.
Some people focus on a percentage of time to the exclusion of other issues
that may be more important, like what the child needs. Children need time
with both parents, and they also need time to enrich their lives with
activities such as seeing their friends and being involved in sports or
cultural activities like art or dance.
Parents also need to attend to their child's spiritual needs, which may
mean a religious education. Balance is the key. Children need time with
both parents and time to be normal children. Making a successful parenting
plan means putting yourself in your child's shoes. To many people, a 50/50
timeshare seems fair because it has the appearance of equality, and it
can be worked out in many families. A variety of arrangements are possible
to suit the needs of the restructured family, however. You should also
keep in mind that the minimum timeshare for joint physical custody is
one-third of the time over a year.
Is 50/50 timeshare appropriate for your child? The answer is "It depends."
Is this timeshare in the best interest of everyone concerned? The logistics
may be difficult, but some families can work it out.
There are many creative ways to have quality time with a child. "Quantity
time" needs to be figured out according to what is in the best interest
of the child. Some of the things to think about are the child's age, relationships
with friends and extended family, availability of each parent, and distances
to travel. It's important to not get hung up on hours, minutes, and seconds,
but also to look at the quality of the time.
This article has been edited and excerpted from Creating a Successful
Parenting Plan: A Step-By-Step Guide for the Care of Children of Divided
Families by Dr. A. Jayne Major (Breakthrough Parenting). Family education
expert Dr. Major, who has worked with more than 12,000 parents over the
last 16 years, teaches you how to help your child through your separation;
to interact effectively with your ex; to determine the best timesharing
arrangements for your child; and to make your agreement with your ex legal
and binding. This helpful book is available by calling the publisher at
(800) 770-7935.
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